I have shit memory, so here’s what I remember.
I lost like a million friends, three of which I still to this day can not comprehend why we hated each other O.O But you know what? Fuck them, because of that situation I regained the ones I lost last year and now I’m happy … I think.
My best fucking friend changed. She’s a fucking hypocrite now. She thinks she knows me so effing well, but sweetheart you haven’t been there for me for FOUR FUCKING YEARS now, don’t tell me you know everything about me. This year I cracked, I couldn’t stand her. I just wanted everything back to normal; I wanted her to stop being that person she became. The months rolled on and she got worst, so I gave up on her. I mean she didn’t even make the bloody effort just to say hi to me. She bloody used me. WE WERE IN THE SAME COMMON CLASS & THE SAME ROLL CALL. OUR NAMES ARE NEXT TO EACH ON THE ROLL, SHE SAT NEXT TO ME. I think the longest conversation I had with her lasted two minutes. I know she still considers me her best friend too, but it’s just fucking ridiculous.
Anyway, on a slightly better note. I made like three friends, and by friends I mean people who I’ve had a conversation with LONGER THAN TWO MINUTES (I have to get over that). Most of these people became my friends due to our mutual music taste. Which of course has also contributed majorly to this year. I met some online; I was given the chance to meet them in real life too, which was rather amazing :) I also ‘met’ some people I had known beforehand which I never talked to, but because of our similar music interest I got to get to know these people and hang out with them.
I discovered some amazing artists, who still to this day are on my favourite’s list; it’s ironic because my likes and dislikes change every two seconds (legitimately). The genre of music I like has drastically changed. I mean I use to listen to Spanish music and pop music and now I love alternative pop/rock, rock and folk.
I’ve gotten to get to know my parents a whole lot better. I guess that’s a plus. I mean we’ve defiantly been through some rough patches, but what family doesn’t? We’ve had to deal with alot of illness, especially my mum’s cancer scare. My brother still has been his annoying self. My extended family have been through havoc which caused my parents to go mental which caused me to go mental which was just hell.
I’ve had so many breakdowns this year. I’ve just wanted to punch things and run away. I hated myself, I hated everyone, I hated how I was getting treated, I hated what I was going through, I hated school, I hated restrictions, I hated everything. I was so negative. I would just sit there when no one was around and cried my eyes out. There were moments this year when I wanted to end it all. I was so sick and tired of my life not going according to plan. I had no one to turn too. My friends wouldn’t understand and I mean as if my best friend gave a fuck. My family were too busy with their lives, I just completely lost it. I mean these moments were so intense, they scared me. I’d never been through that before and never do I want to again.
Last but not least, Tumblr. I made one after seeing so many links on twitter. I’m pretty sure it was January, I remember my name was beforeangelsfall (short stack song) at first I posted anything and then after a while I got the gist of things and found out so many people on here had such similar interests as me. I came to realise a fair few people I knew in real life had one too, so I obviously followed them. Now the biggest highlight of my Tumblr ‘life’ has been when I decided to create a graph on graphjam.com (i think that’s the url). I posted it. After an hour no likes or reblogs, I didn’t think there would be many. Then miraculously a friend reblogged it. In just under an hour I had 200+ notes. I was going bonkers. The next day, afterschool I checked on it and there was 11,000+ notes. I was cndsjvbfkuegbil. My dashboard was spammed with [insert name] reblogged your photo or [insert name] liked your photo. That also lead to 150+ followers ;D Of course I lost a few along the way. Currently there are 49,000+ notes. I’m truly amazed at the incredible amount of people who felt the same way as I did. If you want to find the photo, you’re going to have to lurk through my archive.
So I guess all in all, this has been a rather emotional year for me, I guess I’m glad it’s over but there’s also been the good moments, which probably don’t stand out as much against the bad ones. To my 203 followers, thanks for sticking with me, and dealing with my many rants and basically all my shit.
Have to get some rest now. Three hour road trip tomorrow morning. This is the first time in many years I haven’t waited until midnight on New Year’s Eve, justsayin’.
See you next year, Tumblr. (GET IT?!? ;D)
P.S Excuse the bad grammar/vocab, if there is any. I really need some sleep and I didn’t feel the urge to re-read this.
I was in the shower and the fireworks started going off …
for the new friends I made
for the friends who stuck with me through thick and thin
for the bitches that backstabbed me
for the people who just walked out of my life
for the people who broke my heart
for the people who made me happy
most of all… this is for me on still being awesome, and will be awesome in 2011
I just have to reblog this (: